May 2013
travels-:
adult life is no fun
jebbmeh:
partevia:
sometimes i have like really deep thoughts like the internet is fucking incredible man i can go on google and see like 10,000 dicks in an hour and like imagine back before the internet even, you couldn’t see that many dicks in a life time. I’ve seen more dicks this week than any Babylonian prostitute did in her entire life. Amazing.
Life is beautiful.: For me, the little things mean... →
allgoodgirlsswallow:
For me, the little things mean absolutely nothing when it comes to people. You held a door open for me, so what. You will never ever get my affection unless you do something big. Prove to me that you care and want to be with me enough to plan something special for me. I want someone who won’t just…
draconisblog:
tumbledore-:
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE...
well behaved women rarely make history but neither do boring teenage girls who do nothing but party so you’re in a bit of a pickle there champ
Things that I write:
Sins
Things that I don’t write:
Tragedies
Things people haven’t heard of
Closing the god damn door
Things the Bride is:
A whore
Things I wouldn’t be caught dead in:
This Place
jesuschristvevo:
i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point
i-o-u-a-fall:
so when i went to a museum the other day there was this on the office window of the biology room
and this is the first one i see
youarefuckingmajestic:
REMEMBER, IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING THE HOUSE THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO CHANGE OUT OF YOUR PYJAMAS.
STAY COMFORTABLE, YOU DESERVE IT, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD
castiel-is-wonderful:
sionainnlindsay:
castiel-is-wonderful:
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
OMG
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank...
jadehariey:
so yahoo reports that michelle obama wore the same dress three times. congratulations, you have now confirmed that the white house indeed has washing machines
breadmaakesyoufat:
dontyoulovemebaby:
breadmaakesyoufat:
GUYS ITS 2:AM AND I FORGOT WHAT OATMEAL MEANT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EMOTION AND I SAID OUTLOUD “IM FEELING VERY OATMEAL” BUT IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE, SO I LOOKED UP OATMEAL, BUT I SPENT 20 MINUETS CONTEMPLATING IF IT ACTUALLY WAS AN EMOTION AND IF GOOGLE WAS LYING
this text post is so oatmeal
i hate you
bonushumor:
so apparently i’m a victim of cyber bullying..
there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long ass time to realize that
loverstabbedaswordthroughmyheart:
i-was-so-alone-and-iou-so-much:
vangoghstars:
sparkafterdark:
glamour-parade:
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
I’m pretty much positive that’s why poetry was even invented in the first place.
for the constellations of your skin to brush against the earth of mine i would swim the seas a thousand times (please...
bluepikmin:
you cant eat the pussy until you finish your vegetables
911: what is your emergency
me: straight people keep giving me their opinions
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
which movie is this?
